Tomorrow will be 4 weeks, {28 days, 672 hours} since my life has changed forever. It hasn't gotten any easier to accept, but I am learning little by little to continue to move forward. There has not been 1 time over the past 27 days that I have NOT cried. I have yet to sleep for a full night and not wake a million times. Thankfully I am eating better, and not getting nauseous from just smelling or looking at food. That alone tells me that my healing has begun.

I've finally realized that healing ME is not something that I can do by myself  I thought I could. I've tried for 3 weeks now. But the thoughts still consume me, and until I know that what I am feeling is normal, and that it will end in time, I can not heal. Without healing, I can not move forward with forgiveness and trust and I desperately needed to. Although nervous, I am looking forward to helping myself through this.

I look forward to being happy again. I look forward to having self confidence once again. I look forward to having a new normal, instead of the nothing that I am living in right now. And most of all, I look forward to not living in the fear that has me consumed right now.

Dear lord - I feel your presence, helping me and guiding me. Please carry me a while longer. I need you still, and admit this is something that I can NOT do own my own. Amen.