Dear Lord, Please help me to forgive. To trust again. I need to forgive, so I can move forward. I've never stopped loving, so I must learn to forgive, so I can make the hurt end, and move on. Amen

I feel like I need to find ME again. I am not sure where I was taken to, or why I was taken, But I can't stand not feeling myself. The not being able to sleep, not looking at ME in the mirror, not eating without feeling sick. The unknowing... I want me again. 

Sent to me of course, from another friend. It's very true. I am sure, as long as I am given my healing time, that I can and will get to this point. My hurt has to heal first, and then I can work on forgiveness and moving forward. I am looking very forward to that part of my life. 

Another one I got in my email this morning:

"The Stronger you are mentally & Physically the easier life becomes"

Living a Lie

Hindsight is 20/20, pardon my language, but FUCK hindsight. 

Did you ever look back on your life and realize it was all a lie?? I never did. Not until recently. And you know what? IT PLAIN OUT SUCKS. Here I sit, thinking my life/family/world is living it's typical day, day after day after day. Until that world comes crashing down, you never have to second guess anything about it. Now, Here I sit, Looking at pictures from Mid November, until now... Wondering what parts of them were real, and what parts were a lie and I was being played? Actually, In reality, I was being played the entire time. Thanksgiving? A Lie. Christmas Eve? A Lie. Christmas DAY?? A Lie. New Years Eve? Yet another lie, and it reminds me why I was sitting home alone with my sleeping children as well. :(  For gosh sake, 12 days ago, as we sit eating dinner at the kitchen table???? Yep.. you've guessed it. A Lie!!! 

Well dam it. I am TIRED of living a lie. I can't even tell a little white lie. I can't leave work on my desk, because I won't be able to sleep when I go to bed at night. So WHY should I be forced to live in someone else's lie? 

My heart has been broken, my soul torched. And I can't do this on my own

Dear Lord, Please, I beg you, to PLEASE give me the strength to overcome this. To be able to look past the hurt and pain. To learn to trust again. And to be able to forgive. I didn't sign up to live this life, and I need the strength, courage and help of YOU to be able to overcome, because I know I can't do it on my own. I am trying, and failing. Dear god, Please carry me and guide me. Please don't let my children and I suffer from consequences that we didn't choose. I honestly don't ask for much from you. I do pretty well on my own, this time though, I am begging for you to intervene. In your precious name. Amen



January 19th 2013, the day my world was shattered and changed forever. 

What have I learned over the past 5/6 days? I've learned that life can change in an instant. You can go to bed one night, telling the person laying next to you that you love them, and wake up the next day, and have NO idea who you are, or more important who that person next to you is. You will NEVER be the same person that you were when you put your head on that pillow Friday night. It's scary. So very scary. 

I've always been a firm believer, that god NEVER gives us more then we can handle, and that he has a plan for us. I've always believed that everything in life happens for a reason. BUT when your life can change SO drastically SO quickly it makes it so very hard to believe this. The Anger that overcomes you, takes over and  you can't see past it. I've never had anger take over me before. Not before Saturday morning. It scared me. Every thought I had, was consumed by anger. Each movement I made was made by anger. I couldn't help but wonder why god lets the devil in to create such chaos on my body. On my heart and soul and my mind.

I woke up Sunday. Well, didn't really wake up, since I never really went to sleep, but got out of bed before 5am, and showered. Got dressed, and left the house before 6am. Got my coffee and drove to church. God wasn't going to let that anger consume me anymore. He was going to help me through it. I enjoy going to church as an adult. Not so much as I child, BUT I never ever, had the urge, I need church now. I had that urge on Sunday. I was at church almost 2 hours before mass began. I sat in the parking lot, googling articles to console my heart and soul and crying my eyes out. I prayed for healing, for the ability to be able to forgive the person who has made me feel this way. I sat in church, and never held back the tears. I let them come freely, I let god work his hands and help me. 

Without God and with out some amazing friends, I am not sure how I would have overcame the pain of this new life. The hurt that it has caused. The heartbreak. But God and my friends have helped me already. They've held me, listened to me, cried with me and supported any and all decisions that I have and will make. I by NO means am better. I am hurt, sad, and scared of what my future and the future of my family holds for us. 

But I have learned how quickly life can change. I'll never take advantage of anything ever again. EVER. I'll also never know if words spoken are those meant for me or not. But I know now, that God will help me get through this. He is going to help me learn to trust. Help heal my broken soul, mend my broken heart and most importantly, guide me to where he knows I need to be. 

Truth

Did you know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I am sorry and help me. Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile to see how much pain they may be in. 

Friends when you need them

I've been going through a really rough time for the past couple of days. It involves my personal life, so I won't post about it on here, but I have some amazing friends, counseling me, and helping me out. One of them sent me an email yesterday. This person, I met at a race almost 3 years ago, and we've remained friends via facebook and even race a few races together since then. She sent me this.:

Kym - I know how strong you are. It's what made me pick YOU, out of hundreds of others to run next too at that race 3 years ago. I saw it in your smile then. Your strength radiates in your smile and I knew immediately that we would be good friends. Your strength will carry you through.

At that moment, I needed someone, anymore to boost my confidence and pay me a compliment. She did just that and then some. It made my night, and more so, made me really smile for the first time in 3 days. How do our friends know right when we need them so???

Another friend, sent me a quote this morning  I received it right after I got out of the shower, which is a horrible place for your mind to wander and bring evil thoughts. It too, came when I needed it most.

"Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing....."
- Elizabeth Gilbert. 

So very true. Regardless of what road my life takes from here, it WILL be changing. It will never be the life I knew when I went to bed Friday evening. Here's to hoping for positive changes.

Wednesday/Thursday Leg Challenge

I kicked some serious leg butt last night! I found a 7 inch step in our house and DID 296 step ups! Holy moly, my thighs were on FIRE when I was done!! Here's my complete tally of the challenge

Lunges  10 

Squats 15

Calf raises 29

Step ups 295

Front Kicks 52

Back Kicks 160

Side kicks 60

In addition I was able to make it to the aerobic class at the gym as well! I even had couple people come up to me after class and told me that for being in the class only 2 weeks, that Iam catching on well :) Good, I think?? 

One Pound

I lost one pound this morning. :( I was kind of sad, until someone posted this on the BL camp boards.

One Pound of Fat 

Hello! Do you know me? If you don't, you should. 

I am ONE POUND OF FAT, and I am the happiest pound of FAT that you would ever want to meet!

Want to know why? It's because no one ever wants to lose me! After all, I am only ONE POUND OF FAT. Just ONE POUND. Everyone wants to lose 3 or 5 or 15 pounds, but never ONLY one.

So, I just stick around and happily keep you. Then I am free to add to myself, ever so slyly, so that you never seem to notice...

That is, until I have grown to 10, 20 or even 30 pounds in weight... 

YES... it is fun being ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT... left to do just as I please. 

So, when you weigh in, go ahead... just keep on saying, "Oh I only lost one pound." (As if that is so terrible.) For you see, if you do this, you will encourage others to hang around me because they will think that I am not worth losing.

And I LOVE being around you... your arms, your legs, your chin, your hips, and every other part of you. HAPPY DAYS! After all, I am ONLY ONE POUND OF FAT!!!

---author unknown---

I felt a bit better after this! 

Back to Running!

Foot was still feeling good after class on Tuesday  so I thought I'd give running a try. I must admit, I hate when your mind plays negative head games with you. And does it ever. 

I decided that since Caden had religion that I would drive him there at 6:30, leave the car parked there, then run, and be back at the car by 7:30 when his class was over. So I got all winterized prior too. It was 24 and windy outside. I wore a pair of wicking shorts under a pair of cotton pants. I had a wicking long sleeve shirt on, under a t-shirt and on top of that my windbreaker. I also had on my gloves, and head wrap for my ears. Of course, I had my blinking red light wrapped around my arm, since it's BLACK outside at this hour. 

So I got Pandora started (which sucks the hell out of my battery, can anymore recommended a music site??) NIKE + gps going and started week 2 day 2 of Zero to 10K. I started my 5 minute warm up walk, and froze to death. It was SO cold and that wind was horribly brutal. It was killing my face. Even with my ears covered I was so cold. Then the first 90 sec run started and I struggled. Struggled with my breathing, and with the run in general. My foot felt Ok, my legs were heavy. Enter negative thought. What business do I have thinking I can run 13 miles in 7 months? None at all! Really Kym, Do you really think you can do this? You can't even do this. I ignored and kept pushing on. By the 2nd run, I was warmer and by the 3rd run I was more confident. My legs were entering the "numb" stage, which I love. It's at that point  where I don't have to tel them to keep going, they do it on their own. Negative thoughts go away, because my mind see's that my body IS doing it no matter what it tells it. The longest I ran in 90 was .15 miles which was fine. I completed day 2 in the cold and wind, in the dark, alone. Moving along. And it was all done in 31 mins total. I was back at the car by 7:06 and had my heart rate back to normal by 7:25 when I went to wait for him. Worked out well and I think it's my new Wednesday night plan! Even after my time was up, I did another intervael run and I ended up going .21 miles. that was longer then any of my 90 second intervals. I was determinded to get to the end of the road I was one!! Here's the picture of that one. 

 Here's the rest of my stats. 

From the running app: 

And since this is only on during the period it needs to be on, here is my Nike app:

Hoping that hubby gets home in time tonight so I can get to aerobics! if not i'll run again, BUT on the track at the gym, way to cold today.

AND tomorrow is Boot Camp weigh in! Gosh, I HOPE I lost something!! 

Tuesday's workout

Ok, Ok, Couple days behind. Tuesday, since my foot was finally feeling the best it has yet, I decided to head back to the gym for the Aerobics class. Holy crap, I worked my butt off, however, gently. I could still feel the weakness in my foot, so knew i had to be careful with it. Which I was. A friend of mine also let me borrow her pedometer until I am able to get one of my own. She brought it over tonight, about 8pm, and I started using it right away. By the time I went to bed at 9:30 I already had in 796 steps! I was pretty impressed! 

Survival Tips for running a 1/2

I found this article on a blog I stumbled across when I was goggling tips for training. I wanted to post it here so I can remember it 5 months from now, when I may need it most. Written by Megan @ Technically Running 

My First Half-Marathon: 5 Survival Tips

 Posted by Meagan on October 12, 2012 Add comments

 

Three months of training have finally come to an end and Steve and I are now less than 24 hours from our first half-marathon. While I know I’ve done (most of) the training, I can’t say that I feel completely prepared to run 13.1 miles. We’ve been a bit schedule-challenged the past 2-3 weeks, so I’m nervous about having missed a few of our shorter training runs. However, I’m finally at peace with the idea that I wouldn’t be doing it in the first place if it wasn’t a challenge and, one way or another, I am determined to finish. The training process has taught me a lot about myself as a runner, so, before we pick up our race packets and stock up on gels and energy jelly beans for the big day tomorrow, I wanted to share my five big ones for making it through (hopefully) unscathed.

1. Don’t think. For me, this race will likely be more of a mental challenge than a physical one. I am remarkably good at getting in my own head and filling it with doubts about whether I can “make it”, even if I’m not feeling particularly tired at the time. My excessive whining on a recent 11-mile-run is a great testament to this. One of the greatest pieces of advice I got lately was to “Run the mile you’re in.” That is, don’t stress out about all the miles you have left or how tired you are right now, just make it through this mile and then move on!

2. Don’t be afraid to push yourself. Another important thing I’ve learned about myself as a runner during training for the half-marathon is that I’m also very adept at underestimating my own abilities. Often, I will go slower than I need to because I am nervous about running out of energy later in the run. This is not such a big deal on my long training runs, but a race is about pushing yourself and seeing what your body can do. So, for the half, I’m going to remember that it’s OK to go a little beyond my perceived limits. I used this strategy when we ran a 10k as part of our half-marathon training a few weeks ago, and I was amazed that I was able to maintain and stay relatively comfortable at a pace of about 30 seconds/mile faster than I thought I would be able to.

3. Body Glide. Body Glide. Body Glide. I’ve mentioned the fact that I have sensitive feet several times on the blog, and Body Glide is one of the best solutions I’ve found for saving the balls of my feet from getting too sore and/or torn up on long runs. Coupled with this is the importance of maintaining a quick cadence, light footfalls, and overall good form.

4. Imodium. No one likes to talk about digestive issues, but, let’s face it, no one wants to get halfway through a race and realize they need to make an emergency porta-potty stop. While some people have medication-free ways to deal with this, as the owner of a sometimes troublesome tummy, I will be taking precautionary measures on race day.

5. “Sometimes, you just do things.” -Scott Jurek, Eat and Run. When the going gets tough, it is these words that I hope will keep me going. I might be tired, I might want to walk, I might want to quit, but as long as I can still put one foot in front of the other, I’m just going to do it!

The goal!

Now that you’ve seen my strategy, what are your top tips for making it through a big race?

Workouts

Well, with the foot being injured, I wasn't able to get ANY running in at all! So sad. I am hoping to get out there and complete day 2 this evening.

For my BL boot camp, we had a core challenge to complete this weekend. We had various core exercises we had to complete on both days. I am going to log it here, as well as on the challenge page.

Crunches 20/25

Dumbbell Crunches 10/25

Bike Crunch 5/31

Pelvic tilt 0/10

Side bends 0/15

Side bends w/dumbbells 15/15

Torso twist 10/0

Banana 2/5

Back Extension 0/13

Plank 0/5

Hip Bridge 0/20

T stand 0/4

In addition to that, On Saturday Mike and I took a 2.34 mile walk. I am still logging it, even if it wasn't running. We completed it in 51:38 mins at a pace of 21:10  Burned 345 cals.

Sunday - In addition to my core (which occasionally aches today, which means I did good!) I challenged my daughter to some Just Dance 4! I've never done Just Dance ever, and holy crap! that is an amazing FUN workout! So, I am happy to know, that if I can't get out running, or I can't get to the gym, that I CAN put a wii game in, and have just as much fun and burn some calories at the same time. I really wish I knew what I was burning. Gr.. And I REALLY need a pedometer as well. Hopefully Friday.

Races!!

I can't begin to tell you how freaking excited I am that the Color Me Rad 5K is FINALLY Coming to Buffalo!! 

I've actually been wanting to do this race since last year, but the closest place was in Albany, which is quite a drive. A bunch of us went on line and voted for it to come to our city, and I guess it worked!! You can click on the link above to get more info on it. Registration isn't open yet, but we are planing on forming a team, SO if you'd like to run with us, Please let me know! The more the merrier is how i look at it!

Beside this run: My must do runs are: 

The Corporate Challenge on June 6th (Delware Park, Buffalo, NY)

Color Me Rad on June 22nd (Darien Lake, Corfu, NY)

Biggest Loser walk/run 1/2 Marathon August 17th  (Presque Isle State Park, Erie PA)

Dirty Girl Mud Run on September 7th (Kissing Bridge Ski Resort, Boston, NY)

Those are my must do upcoming runs. I am sure I'll be adding more as I go along!

Foot Injury Progress

This picture was taken the same day as the one in the previous post. By the time I got home from work, I was nice and swollen. I woke up even more Swollen on Saturday morning, swollen, but itchy, which means healing is on the way. 

Then Saturday night, as I was in the shower, I looked down and saw this bruise! So odd, since that wasn't even the spot that was hurting so badly!!  2 days later now, I have this bruise, plus another one on the opposite side of the foot as well. My leg is actually sore, but I know that's just because I've been favoring that foot. I am hoping to get out and start running again tonight! We'll see how healed it is. 

Weigh In & Measurements

I joined a Biggest Loser Boot Camp Challenge for the next 8 weeks. I am quite excited about. Fridays will be the weigh in day for it, So I weighed in for the 2nd time this week, and re-did my measurements, which I have NOT done since September. So here's the stats:

Current Weight 257.4 (1.4 Loss since Monday!)

Measurements I am going to compare to September:

Chest (+ 4, but I think I might be measuring in a different spot all the time)
Sept 2012 - 49
Jan 2013 - 53

Right Arm (+1.5)
Sept 2012 - 14.5
Jan 2013 - 16

Left arm (+1.5)
Sept 2012 - 14.5.
Jan 2013 - 16

Waist (-1)
Sept 2012 - 53
Jan 2013  - 52 (yay for a loss!!)

Hips (-.5)
Sept 2012 - 55.5
Jan 2013 - 55

Right Thigh (+.75)
Sept 2012 - 22.75
Jan 2013 - 23.5

Left Thigh (same)
Sept 2012 - 23
Jan 2013 - 23

ABS (-.25)
Sept 2012 - 49
Jan 2013 - 48.75

So, those are my measurements since September. For the most part, I've stayed pretty level, or minor losses/gains. Looking forward to see what they will be in March!

Injury :-(

I was so excited to go to the gym last night to take a 6pm aerobics class. I rushed though dinner (thank goodness I made chili in the crock pot) Mike rushed out to pick up Courtney after track practice, so I could leave the house by 5:40 to make it on time. Got there with minutes to spare and was good to go. It was nice to have people say, Hey! Welcome back, why didn't you come to Tuesday's class?? A girl who started with me last Thursday was there again last night too, so I feel better when I am not the only awkward one. However... I am such a freaking klutz. I always have been. *sigh* We started class, got some good stretches in. Less then 10 minutes in, we were starting our heel kicks and somehow, My feet got twisted, and my right foot stepped on my left foot and down I went. I thought for sure I twisted my ankle, but it ended up being the side/top of my foot. I had to sit down in class, they brought me an ice pack, took off my shoe and iced it for a good 15 minutes before I attempted to get up again. I thought it was feeling great (in reality it was numb from the ice LOL) Put my shoe back on and got up to walk, only to feel the stabbing pain all over again. They wanted to bring me downstairs to my car in a wheelchair!! I said, Um, No, I'll be just fine. One of the trainers helped me walk out to the elevator, which they MADE me take downstairs. and i hobbled to the car. I walked in less then an hour after I left the house, to everyone's surprise. 

I kept it iced for a while longer, and we were in bed pretty early, so it was elevated, but it hurt really bad during the night last night. I woke up this morning, to this huge blob on the top of it. Ouch. Kind looks and feels like a Hematoma of some sort. It's very fluid full.

 I took 4 Motrin before I came to work today, so right now, it feels pretty good. The swelling has gone down some, and I am able to walk a bit better. The pain is subsiding. I am hope it holds up until I get home at least! 

I am most sad that I can't run tonight honestly. I'll have to compensate with something else I guess. I'll figure it out, But I am NOT giving up! And i am hoping I'll be better and get to class on Tuesday! 

Week 2 Day 1 Done

There am I prior to running last night! Last night was Week 2 day 1 of Zero to 10K. It consists of six 90 second runs with 2 minutes walking between each one. I should mention that every single one of these runs has a 5 min warm up prior too, and I always add in my own 5 min (or longer, until I get back home) cool down as well. 

Last night was the first time I doubted myself that I would be ready to run a 1/2. It was cold last night. The winds were insane, so bad actually that hubby came home from work early, because he wouldn't work anymore, every time he lifted his 48 foot dumb, the truck would almost tip. SO yes, it was windy. It was 39 out, but in he dark, and in the wind, the windchill had to be pretty cool. I did great the first 5 runs, but I really really struggled with the last one. Mike run with me last night. Mike is NOT a runner, but I was so proud of him, he ran every single interval with me, and in the end, he wasn't even wiped out!! Made me feel worse almost  like what business do I have to run 13.1 miles? None at all. We actually took a long zigzagging run to Wegmans (we were out of Peanut butter for the kids lunches today.) then walked back home. We finished the program prior to going into wegmans though. I'll post the stats separately  since the mileage for the run and the total will different. Mike's legs were hurting him quite a bit on the walk home. If he chooses to continue to run, we'll have to invest in a really good pair of running shoes for him as well. We all know how much those babies cost ($$$) Having 3 runners in our house might get expensive!

So here are last night's stats:

Cold, Windy & 39 degrees. Ran at 8:30pm. 

Week 2 Day 1 1.47 miles total with a pace of 14:24 (20 min with warm up/cool etc time to complete the day)

NIKE tracker - Total miles 2.50 done in 38 mins 32 sec. with a pace of 15:23. Keep in mind when looking at that pace we walked back the 1 mile from Wegmans. (however, if I was to run 13.1 miles with that 15:23 pace, it would take me 3.32 hours to complete) 

Oh - I also signed up for the Biggest Loser Boot Camp challenge online, it starts tomorrow. I am on the Vanishing Vixen team. Excited to do this with a team, the motivation and support that comes with it! 

Gross Pictures

I am a firm believer that pictures show more then any number on a scale ever will. So I had my daughter take a picture of me before I headed out my run last night, in my TIGHT wicking shirt. Now, I do not let people see me in something like this ever. I hide my rolls under as much clothing as possible. However, I love running with this shirt one. It's warm, it's wicks, and it's comfortable. But.. it's tight. I usually wear a tshirt over it, if I am not wearing a jacket, or if it's not so bad out, I'll just wear a jacket over it. 

So Here's last nights tight pictures - Weighing 258.8

I hate this picture the most - the back picture. I have NO behind at all.(the lovely McDonald Family Curse) So Everything just goes straight down. and the rolls and wideness and ugh. hate it. 

Side view. 

And the Front View. 

Ok, let's face it, I hate all of them, but hopefully they won't be like this for long. 

Day 3 run complete

I braved the 20 degree weather last night and run outside. I HATE, absolutely HATE treadmill running, and track running just throws me off. I can't stand the include and I feel like I am accomplishing nothing running in the same tiny circle 90 times. So.. at 8:15 last night, I made hubby take the dog for a walk and go with me. I am scared to death to run alone at night in the dark. I don't mind if it's just getting dark, but by 8pm, it's been dark for 3 hours already, and it's DARK where I live. We don't have huge tall street lights that overhang the road, we only have little lantern ones, in front of every 4 or so houses every other side of the street, so dark it is.

I wasn't sure how to dress, never having ran in this cold before. So i wore a pair of loose yoga pants (because someone of my size shouldn't wear tight fitting ones), a tight wicking long sleeve shirt under a cotton t shirt and cotton spring jacket. I had a fleece headband on my ears and gloves on my hands. Was I cold? for the first 15-20 minutes my face was freezing. I wished i had a scarf to cover my mouth at least. My lips were ice. After that, I was fine. By the time I got home though, my legs were cold. I wish I had maybe a pair of running tights to wear under the yoga pants, that would be perfect. Since I don't have a pair, maybe i'll try putting a pair of shorts on under then next time. I wonder if they even make them for people of my size?? probably not :(

So - Mike decided to try running with me, since they were only 60 min intervals. I told him he should start with the zero to 5K, but he's determined that whatever I can do, he can do too. (even though he's never ran more then a few mins before) He did great the first 3 runs, 50/50 the 4th run and then he was pretty much done. LOL It's kind of empowering to me, that i can run all 9 of those intervals and not be out of breath of after, when he is struggling. It means I actually have somewhat conditioned my body for this. It makes me proud. Although I am WAY overweight, I am ABLE to do something that alot of people even half of my weight struggle to do. Although I completed Week 1 day 3, I am disappointed that I didn't complete 2 miles. If I took another route i could have, but I didn't. So in the end, here's my results. I love the NIKE app.

W1 Day 3
Run - Outside 23 degrees.
1.86 Miles complete
Ran for 28.13 mins.
burned 308 cals.
Pace of 15.09 - Keep in mind, this is slow because it's all interval right now. I am only running maybe 60% of the time.

Tonight - hoping to get to the gym to run the track (only because hubby is broke down with his work truck, in a whole different state, so I'd have to run alone in the dark.. no thank you) So Week 2 consists of more intervals  - 6 reps of 90 sec runs and 2 min walks between. Looking forward to starting it!

Goals

Before I get into the actual post - Weigh in day today! I came in at 258.8! I'll take it! 2.2 loss.

So... Lots of inspiration on Facebook this weekend. It didn't me to the gym, but that's Ok, it was a choice I made, and I am happy with it! 

Lots of talk about how much weight we actually want to lose. Looking at the big number can be QUITE intimidating. Sunshine's journey to 199 (whose posts ALWAYS inspire me BTW  posted how to look at it in smaller numbers and how much more achievable it wills seem. So.. I've decided to take that advice. I have no real goal date set, so I am using my 1/2 marathon date for now. I basically just want to lose the weight, I have no time frame for it to happen. Here's the formula that she gave us.

Take the number of pounds you want to lose

Divide it by the number of months your giving yourself

That total is the amount you'll need to lose per MONTH (already, a much more doable number!)

If you want to keep going though, you can divide that number by 4 (typical amount of weeks per month)

This gives you the total you'll need to lose per week, to meet your monthly & ending goal. 

Since my first goal is just to get to 200 (although, I'd be really happy with 215, it's what i weighed when I got married 10 years ago and I was completely happy with my body at that point) But we'll strive for the 200 and then reassess the situation :-) I need to lose 58 lbs. 

So my formula looks like this:

58/7 = 8.3 lb loss per month

8.3/4 = 2.07 loss per week 

 IF I am able to complete this before my 1/2 in 7 months and one week, I will need to lose 2 lbs per week. it's not impossible, but might be tight. 

I am the slowest loser ever, and ALWAYS have been. (I think it's part of the reason I fail all the time. I give up when I don't see big results like others do)  If I aim for the 215 by the 1/2 I'll need to average 1.5 lbs per week. Again, not impossible, but tough for me. I am hoping for at least a 1 lb loss per week, and if that happens, they HEY!! Great! I am still happy with any loss :)

Seems easier to look at this way doesn't it? So what's your formula look like? 

Disclaimer : No matter how much I lose or DO NOT lose, I'll still be running that 1/2 in 7.1 months! I've ran at 265 before and will do it again if need be! 

Day 2 Training

We unfortunately had a rough rush hour yesterday, with lots of blowing snow and winds, so I wasn't able to get to the gym when I wanted to. I've decided that in addition to just RUN training, I am still going to do classes and add in strength when I have the chance, since I believe all of those are JUST as important physically and mentally when running. So, by the time I got to the gym I was only able to get in 1/2 of my running program before the Class I wanted to try started. I planned on finishing up the 2nd half after class, however, holy freaking aerobic class! By the time it was over I honestly felt I got more then enough leg work and resistance in, so I skipped the 2nd part. I took the high/low aerobics class. I can tell you that my arms are KILLING me today. Man oh Man. My legs aren't hurting too bad, but I think my legs are generally conditioned for such activities since I do already run etc. The problem I have? My chest! I have to say, jumping, running in place and such things, do not go so great on large chested women. My boobs felt like they were being stretched in directions they should be. Yes, I had on a sports bra. Apparently, when taking such a class, I'll have to wear 2.

I have plans tonight, so I won't be able to get a run in, but plan on going to the gym tomorrow morning for Week 1 Day 3 of  Zero to 10K. The program doesn't have you running on a daily basis, I just choose to do this. It should be every other day. Since these first couple of weeks are pretty easy runs, and prior to this, I was running a good 2 miles with out stopping, I figured I'd run daily, until my body tells me that I need to take that rest day.

I've added a ticker at the top to count down until race day. Soon, I'll start looking into Hotels for that weekend as well. I also need to work on a sitter for the boys. Originally I was going to bring them with, however, the race starts at 7am, and I can't see them sitting patiently waiting for almost 3 hours for me to cross the finish line. 35 Minutes, yes, not HOURS worth of time.

Half Marathon What????

Seriously, I have NO idea what the heck I was thinking. BUT, On New Year's eve, while Colin was sleeping, Courtney was hanging out with a friend and Mike and Caden were across the street at a get together with the neighbor's  I was on the computer, signing myself up for my first Half Marathon. OMG!! It's always been my goal over the past 3 years to run one. It's on my life's bucket list, so here I am. As I was sitting there 3 nights ago, I was on Facebook  I had heard of the Biggest Loser walkrun previously and looked into it, but unfortunately  I have NO one who wants to get out and workout with me ever. I think it's part of the reason I fail so much. I have tons of online support from friends, but when it comes to real life? I have no one really sitting in my corner cheering me on, and honestly? It gets depressing. So.. a friend of mine had posted that she (who doesn't run at all) created a Team for the The BL walkrun. The Bad Idea Bears. Then asked who wanted to join. If you get more then 25 people on a team, the BL awards you with a team tent/banner and team photo after the race. I thought, well... here's my perfect opportunity! I sat starting at active.com for a good 30 minutes wondering if I should hit register or not. Then I noticed that if you signed up by 12/31 at midnight, you save $10 on the fee. Well, that's a no brainier  I clicked register. I also didn't realize too, that when you register with a team, you also save another $5 off the fee. So by registering with 1.5 hours left, I was able to save $15 :)

Of course I woke up the morning after wondering what the hell was I thinking?!? My husband said I have NO idea Kym! So needless to say, Yesterday was Day 1 of my training. I am following the zero to 10K program to start now. I've ran a 5k, 8k and 10k in the past, but wanted to start from square one. This program is 10 weeks long, but i am hoping to complete it sooner then that. It ends with 60 min straight running. Once I am done with the 10K program, I'll move up to 10K to half. I also have a few things on my amazon wish list in waiting. So when I can afford it, or when I think I need a push, I'll go download a book or two.

Since it's 17 outside, snowy and way icey, I decided to go to the gym and run on the track last night. The Zero to 10K is interval training  which i love, so it was perfect. According to my NIKE app, I ran 2.17 miles in 35 minutes, considering there was a lot of walking involved, not too bad!

figured I'd track my weight and picture progress as well. Weight yesterday was 261 (darn holiday!)

Side View

Front View - I hate how my eyes look demon(ish) ick. 

Back View.