I always thought that once I got married, I would always be with that person forever. Good or Bad, problems or no problems. It never even occurred to me that at some point it might not work out. I thought married couples make it work no matter what the situation. I promised myself that, so I wouldn't end up like my parents and most other broken families out there. Not being with that person, or having to deal with them possibly not loving you or wanting you any longer, never even crossed my mind. It wasn't what marriage was about for me. Maybe I was naive to think like. Obviously I was. If I thought my marriage would end up at a point like it is currently experiencing, I don't think I ever would have gotten married. Maybe god is teaching me a lesson for all the horrible things I did when I was younger to others. I don't know, but I worry every moment of every day and I don't want to. I just want to be happy again. I just want my "normal" back, whatever that may or not be. No one should ever, ever, ever, have to go though something like this. 

A later thought 

 I guess in reality, it kind of is payback to me. I apparently made my husband unhappy and miserable enough in our marriage that he had to go find someone better, so in a way, I deserve each and every hurt, pain and sadness that I've experienced.